For 6 years, I’ve had this vision of the life I wanted to live. I’ve dreamed of living in a tropical climate, sun-kissed hair, eating healthy, colorful food, and spending time in the ocean daily. I dreamed of sailboats and fishing. I dreamed of having a family in this environment, my children running around naked like sea gypsies- tan, happy, healthy, and strong from a life near the ocean.
For 6 years I have found every excuse in the book of why I couldn’t just go and live this life. I made an excuse that I needed way more money to survive in that environment. I even went to the point of saying I needed 7 streams of passive income before I could possibly settle down in paradise! I have been working around the clock, in big, big cities in urban areas for 6 years and dreaming of being warm and healthy. At one point I had saved quite a bit of money, but instead of going and investing that money in a beautiful tropical location, I decided I needed to be even MORE prepared and invested it into my parent’s business and went to work for them...hundreds of miles from the sea in the dessert. I sat at a desk for 10 hours a day hunched over my computer drinking coffee and staring out the window into corn fields. I spent many days looking at my instagram of beautiful beach babes and would look online at bikinis that would someday fit and I would someday wear. If you know me, this didn’t used to be me. I was always the go-getter, that went after what she wanted. What the heck happened?
I slowly began to ask myself questions that ultimately made me really question my behavior.
Why was this dream so difficult to accomplish?
Why was it more comfortable just working and working for a goal, but never making the jump?
How did I get this way? How is the fear of “making it” keeping me from even trying? As I get older, I feel like these strange fears easily creep in without even consciously letting them in. If I’ve never had difficulty finding work, why am I so worried about having everything perfect before I move to the sea?
The egg began to open. I came to the realization that I’d been dancing around my goals because I was afraid of failure. I was afraid that if I actually moved to the tropics, and I didn’t make it-- then what?? What would people think of me? For some reason I felt ok with doing these things in my early 20s. No one took me too seriously. But in my 30s? I felt this overwhelming pressure that I had to really “make it.” There was this unstated pressure that play time was over.
And you know what, I didn’t consciously agree with that. I was unconsciously making decisions that brought me farther from the beach than I had ever been.
It was then that I decided to make some rapid decisions to get myself closer to my goals. The rapid decisions built momentum. I decided I’d rather be dancing closer to my goals, even with the potential of failure, then wait until I was perfect or the situation was perfect. You know it’s the right thing when things start feeling good again. When the flow starts to happen. I feel like I’m getting closer and closer to my dreams.
Stay tuned for this beach babe to make some dreams become reality.
Has this happened to you? Do you ever feel the pressure to “make it”, and so you leave your dreams for “later”? I want to hear about it!